Peace in the Pain and the Pandemonium

I went to church today as I do on Sundays with my family. It was not one I would freely choose but my son likes the music aka "worship" so we defer of course because as a parent you just want your kid to not turn out to be a henchman for Satan. When they are little you have dreams of them changing the world but by their teens you just hope they aren't the reason the world moves closer to its end. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. They are wonderful but I think any honest parent should worry when TikTok has become an authoritative source of information for kids. More on the problematic wording of worship and its ties to contemporary music later. But this is a "modern" church in NYC and well funded that harkens to the evangelical machine. Its a little too slick for me and one pastor for the baby dedications declared how just having children is a fight against the powers that would say families and children are not welcome in New York. Really? Its so weird how evangelicals love to position themselves as persecuted when in reality no one even thinks about them. If its difficult to have families in New York I think there are systemic issues of injustice vs Satan sitting behind his keyboard trying to stop Christian families from being in New York. It feeds into this us vs them mentality and a lot of phrasing around spiritual battles. I find it annoying and genuinely harmful to how Christians view themselves especially at a time when Christian Nationalism is the dominant political force in our current society. If Christians feel persecuted in America, how do you think Muslims feel?

The sermon was on praise and without getting into specifics there was this theme of praising God publicly so others would know and that it should cost you. I'm not saying praise should not be public or should not "cost you" but I think the part missing is why you can praise God even in the midst of circumstances that bely logic or reason. There is often this hidden undercurrent in the evangelical church of you have to try harder and do more and prove your faith. Faith over Fear! Blah blah blah. Also there is this simplistic reductionism of what praise is. It has Handmaids Tale vibes of "Praise Be" which if you know that show that phrase sends chills down your spine because its used by the villains who perpetrate all kinds of violence and cruelty in the name of God. I know it and recognize this American form of pietism and optimism and self help language because I myself encouraged it and was a cheerleader for it. God forgive me. It says, if you are just brave enough and believed enough in God you should praise Him. One of the examples are Corrie Ten Boom who was a captive in the concentration camps of World War II and preached the Gospel to her fellow captives. There's a moment where she is disgusted by the fleas in her straw bed and her sister thanks God even for the fleas. She can not get herself to do it but her sister reminds her to thank God in all circumstances and not just pleasant circumstances. Ultimately, the preacher shares her fleas in the camp were the reason why the guards stayed away so she could read the Bible out loud and preach the Gospel to other captives. See! There's a reason God has for your suffering. All wrapped up like a Agatha Christie novel at the end. I have no doubt that was God with Corrie in the camps but there is this selective reasoning in that that story that can fool the person in the pew to think there is this obvious redemption arc in your suffering that you can point to and say there! God did that and here's why! That is simply not the case in most of life. And it is not the reason you can thank God in all circumstances. There are plenty of people who love God and suffer all kinds of meaningless deaths and suffering where there is no redemption arc to the suffering on the surface of it. What about the Palestinian child blown to bits by Israeli bombs while playing? What about those dying of preventable diseases in Africa because of simple policy decisions to withhold medicine? The list goes on and on where people just simply suffer. The circumstances cry out does God even care and how does someone praise God in the midst of this?

What I hold onto and have learned in my own journey with suffering and with God is that the part of us that really matters. The part that makes you ...you. The invisible part that no one can see which is your soul, Christ has redeemed and has preserved and not only that but He has given you riches where moth can not eat and rust can not destroy (Matthew 6:19-20). That part in me that is forever has been redeemed and healed. I am well. Truly well because I am with Christ. Your well being lies secure (Ephesians 1) "who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places." The reality of our spirtual life surpasses any present circumstances so we can have peace in the poverty. We can praise in the pain. We have calm in the pandemonium of circumstances out of our control. Our seat is next to Him and He walks with us through the fire and the rain. Why He doesn't deliver us? I don't know. I do know His own Son had to suffer innocently and died a death that seemed completely opposite to what He seemed to preach. I am sometimes taken back when people pray for my healing from cancer. Partly because I am at peace with just walking with God through it. As long as God is there in my burning bush and does not consume me. As long at that 4th person is there in the fire walking with me like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. As long as the Holy Spirit speaks to my spirit that it is ok son that your body is failing you because I have redeemed your soul and will give you a new body. That paradox of life in death and peace in suffering allows praise because the part of us that really matters is secure. Our situation defies outward circumstance because our inward circumstance is the real reality of life. It is the eternal vs the temporary and it gives me peace even as I am jabbed with another needle. Or when the nurse can't find my vein. Or when I know there is nothing the doctors can really do when this cancer decides to activate.

That reality is available to all at no cost. Gods Kingdom is free and the poor are really rich and those who seem rich are actually poor. It is a beautiful protest to the reality of the Kingdom when you can just live in joy because you know deep down your innermost being sits at the right hand of a Father who loves you. Even as this administration strips the rights of people fleeing poverty and inarcerates people just for the color of their skin, their true citizenship in Gods Kingdom can not be taken away. Just existing in joy and loving others despite our circumstance we defy this world and its powers.

It can not be a Tony Robbins kind of forced enthusiasm with a Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch kind of Christianity that says to praise God and grit it through your teeth. That kind of praise is not unlike repeating a mantra as a Buddhist monk may and treating praise and prayer as a kind of magic talisman to your circumstances. That is not how it works. My suffering is real. I don't even know if there is any point to it. I'm just thankful I have cancer because my brother who died suddenly from cardiac arrest never had a chance to tell his loved ones he loved them or had the chance to set his houself in order. The cancer is slowly choking out my breath but I can rest in the truth that the part of me that matters is untouched. God is good...all the time.